I’m exhausted, and I mean all the time. Between being a full time online student, a SAHM to my 8 month old, a homemaker, and a wife, I clearly am stunned at the amount of time spent doing for others and the household over any sort of ‘me’ time. And to top it off I may take on a part time job in the evening hours to help out with the finances. I’m so overwhelmed as it is at home, I have no idea what I was thinking while filling out the application. I imagine our low finances was at the top of my mind at the time, but all I can think about now is leaving my baby at home with his Da-Da for a few hours out of the week. I can’t even go to the corner store without wanting to have him tag along with me. I love him so much, and for me possibly getting this job breaks my heart into a million pieces.
I always dreamed of being a SAHM, and when that dream finally happened last December I was overwhelmed with love and joy. By the time my son was two weeks old I was consumed with pumping my breast milk, feedings, changing diapers and outfits, laundry, housework, and schoolwork. I knew I could juggle it all, but I didn’t know how exhausted I would be. I knew I would lose me time, quality time with my husband, and any socialization outside of my little bundle of joy, but never did I pout in despair. I was happy, and in love once again.
Even eight months later I am overjoyed with my little family. I love my chaotic life that I juggle from 6AM-11PM, of course this doesn’t include the occasional whimpers in the night from my little man to want a cuddle squeezed in before he nuzzles off to slumber-land again.
Of course there are some days that are harder than others. There are days where the dishes lay dirty in the sink, laundry is piled up clean, yet unfolded on the couch, and I’m still in my pajamas at 3’oclock in the evening. But the way I look at it is; if my homework is done, my baby is taken care of, and my hair is still intact, I’m doing a damn good job!
There are even days where it seems the cat, the dog, and my son work hand in hand to make my life even more crazy, but that’s okay. I easily laugh off the house when it is in messy mode. My house is meant to be lived in, not be a model of perfection.
I am blessed to have a husband who understands that he may not come home to a house clean and tidy, or that my hair is in knots with a screaming hyper baby attached to my hip.
Juggling life is not easy, and I’m okay with that.